SEEEEXXX PLEASE
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
