Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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