Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
