i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
