I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
