Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
