Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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