Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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