used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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