Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize