i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
