we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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