oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
