you guys were way drunker than both of me
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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