No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
