There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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