DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
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Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
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we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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