Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
