We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
