i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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