Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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