ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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