their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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