Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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