I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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