He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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