plz talk dirty to me
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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