Jerry, you need to find god
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
