I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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