This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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