I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
