im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
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