Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My vagina just clenched in fear
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
