i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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