just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize