I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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