i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
