okay pat passed out under dana's car
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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