I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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