she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
