I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
