I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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