Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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