come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I love having hate sex.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
