Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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