I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
