I skipped work to stalk him.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize
