someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm having to shit out rocks
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
