And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
