is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
