plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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