On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Boobs are out for the taking
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
