The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
