Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
