My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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