office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
