Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize