Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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