i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
