Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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