I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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