I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
