Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
