Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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