TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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