Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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